On September 10th I was walking into an appointment for a potential new client and my phone rang, I hesitated to answer it because I didn’t recognize the number and I didn’t want to be late, so I let it go into voicemail. Little did I know that the message was going to be about something that felt like waves crashing down on my heart.
The message said, “Merikay, this is Shannon, call me as soon as you get this.” My immediate thought was, “Oh, crap – I probably shouldn’t have announced yesterday at the Human Resource Society of Greater High Point chapter meeting that our president, Tom Barnard was out on short term medical leave and that we all should send him some good energy and hopefully, he’ll be back participating and leading us again real soon.” I’m the VP and was covering for him that day to run the meeting. He’s the reason I joined the chapter a year earlier. His energy, helpfulness, humor & realness were character traits that drew me in the moment I met him. I tried to call Shannon back and got her voicemail so I headed to my next appointment.
A few minutes later, my phone rang and it was Jill who was also on our board. She said, “Merikay, this is Jill, I’m calling because Tom was found dead this morning.” I burst into tears, checked my rearview mirror and swerved into a nearby parking lot. My chest was heaving, I was sobbing…I could hear Jill say, “I’m so sorry…” I took a deep breath and immediately thought about Shannon and how she was coping with this devastating news. What flashed in front of me was an email I had sent two days earlier to the entire board announcing I was going to step down because on an increase in work travel and family commitments. I called Shannon moments later and had a lot of peace about telling her – “Ok, I’m not stepping down from the board next year, put that to the side, now tell me what you need.”
Sometimes as leaders, we make plans or find ourselves in certain situations or just rolling along in life and then a wave comes crashing down. This is where you have a decision to make. You can let the waves keep pounding you or you can make a change. You can let the waves drown you or you can fight like hell to get back up. I don’t know where you are when you think about loss or grief, but I’ve seen a lot of it in my day with the death of both my parents, my CPA/friend to ALS, my youth pastor to cancer, my grandmother to beautiful old age, and my sweet friend Tom. There’s a reason I was asked to speak for their group in December of 2014. He’s the reason I joined their society, he’s the reason I offered to be VP and he’s the reason I’m not stepping down.
Grief comes in many forms, it may be a job loss, relationships ending, poor health or financial crisis – whatever it is for you or whatever it will be in the future, my hope is that you rise above the waves and ride them with the power of faith.
You may feel weak at times, let faith be your strength and catalyst for change.
