When something challenging happens, what’s the first reaction you have? There have been times when I would have laughed and found the humor, I would have asked, “What’s the worst that can possibly happen?” as Dale Carnegie recommends in his book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living; or, I would have tilted my head sideways and shrugged, “Urrrrrr…”, like Scooby Doo; either gotten frustrated, or just rolled on. The holidays can be joyful & stressful all at the same time. The key is to avoid extended time in the stress stage and to make sure to shift and find the humor or peaceful stage during the holidays.
Today, I took my son to Barnes & Nobles to buy a review book for the ACT. He was your typical grumpy 17 year old. I had taken time off work to pick him up for the book run and also offered to take him shopping for some new clothes. He’s not big on clothes; in fact, if he could wear the same sweat pants and T-shirt every day, he’d be just fine. I could tell he didn’t want to be hangin’ out with his mom by his poor attitude. So I said, “Well, let’s get this over with as quick as possible, so I can get you home to do whatever it is you would rather be doing, because I can tell you don’t want to be with me.” I waited a few minutes to gather my thoughts and said, “Here’s the way I see it…”. I asked if what I said made sense. He agreed. Then he said, “Well, here’s the way I see it…”.
BREAKTHROUGH! I shared my thoughts and feelings, he shared his thoughts and feelings – it was successful because we both were calm, cool and collected. We listened, didn’t interrupt each other and didn’t argue. A few minutes later we went into Barnes & Noble (yes, I was walking several paces ahead of him – I have learned in my 50 something years that if someone is in a bad mood – just get some distance!) I went to the information desk to save time and was escorted to the ACT/SAT prep section. I surveyed the selection and pulled out a book that had four written tests and two online tests. My son pulled out the book, ACT for dummies. He said, “This is the one I want to get.” I said, “Ok, are you paying for it? I would like to get one that has online and written tests – it helped me a lot prepping for the GRE for grad school to have both versions.” He had this quirky look on his face. I said, “Why do you want to get that one?” He said, “Because I’m being a dumb ass.” I just laughed as we both found the humor in a stressful situation.
As we walked to the checkout counter, I almost bumped into a man and then noticed he was wearing a Vietnam Veteran hat…I apologized and he said, “Well, I’m a driver and always using my peripheral vision.” We chatted a bit, and I could feel myself beginning to relax, smile and a feeling of gratitude arose that this man was standing next to me in line. He shared two jokes his nine year old granddaughter had texted him, which made me laugh and even my grumpy teenager. This is the one that got a 17 year old to chuckle & crack a smile…
A reporter: What does Santa do in the summer time?
Elf: He’s a farmer.
Reporter: Really, a farmer – how do you know?
Elf: Because he is always saying, “Ho. Ho. Ho.”
Give yourself the gift of humor this holiday season. Get some distance from those nasty relatives or as my mother would recommend – Have another hot buttered rum. Go have fun & remember the reason for the season. Blessings and Merry Christmas!
